Top (Non) Love Songs

I don't know about you, but I rarely equate certain songs with sex, love, or anything else that rhapsodises about a romantic interaction between man/woman (in certain cases, man/man, woman/woman - or for the adventurous, a ménage à trois involving man/woman/well-endowed household pet).

Here are some songs which, quite frankly, I find completely not a turn on. I either associate them with fat people having sex, or something far worse that would give the average bloke a case of acute impotence. I'll add to the list later - it's by no means exhaustive.

Jane Berkin et Serge Gainsbourg - J'Taime
Fake orgasm. And if the bloke was any good at it, she wouldn't be able to get the words "J'Taime" out of her mouth - she'd be screaming for breath.

Marvin Gaye - Let's Get it On
"If the spirit moves ya, let me groove ya". The number of times I've seen this song used in spoof movies has removed any sexual quality. The intro notes just don't give it any credibility ("wow wow wow weelw!").

Stevie Wonder - I Just Called to Say I Love you
I'm sorry, but the cheesyness of this is not romantic. The synthesiser sounds cheap (Kraftwerk knew how to work such an instrument, Stevie didn't). The video is even worse - there are pictures of floating styrofoam that magically create images on their surface.

The message one really wants to portray in a love song is - sex sells. That's it. It causes far more controversy and makes life more exciting. Top marks to music videos that get banned in the US. Now here are some songs which REALLY get the blood going to the member:

Bloodhound Gang - Discovery Channel
The lyrics to this song are so dirty I doubt even Cosmo would know what they're going on about.

Eric Prydz - Call On Me
A Eurodance / "buttsex techno" remix to Steve Winwood's less exciting 80s number. If you don't understand why this is hot - check out the video now. If ANYONE knows where I can find a dance studio like this, I'll take up aerobics right away. After a class like that, I would never be the same boy I used to be.

t.A.T.u - All the Things She Said
The Russian producer who had the idea to get soft butch lesbians to kiss in the rain  whilst wearing school uniform was a perverted freak. Yet, still, top marks for effort - the video is even set in some form of Gulag behind razorwire.